Sneak's Noise
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Tag: sneak’s noise

  • Sneak’s Noise Yet Again Snubbed by Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame

    POUGHKEEPSIE, NY  For another inexplicable year, NJ indie rockers Sneak’s Noise were not inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. No mention of them was made, on or off the record, during this spring’s festivities.

    bass guitar

    “Clearly there’s been a deliberate effort on the part of the people involved”, said a spokesperson for the band. “If you mention ‘Sneak’s Noise’ to any of the 75 nominating committee members – or even one of the approximately 1,000 music-industry professionals who vote on the committee’s nominations –  you’ll get a blank stare. The person will act as though they’ve never even heard of Sneak’s Noise.”

    The band’s debut EP, A Surge of Existence, sold anywhere from 117 to 10,742 copies, depending on whom you ask. Add in the approximately seven or eight illegal cassette and home CD copies, and you get a certain number that may or may not be divisible by itself and one.

    No Moss on This Stone

    Since Surge’s release, members of the band have pursued their own illustrious careers. John Taglieri’s upcoming CD features the likes of legendary drummer Kenny Aronoff. And Tony Donato – Jack Brag founder and pioneer of the “punctual rock” movement – has just finished production of a Yoko Ono tribute album.

    Thanks for nothing, Cleveland.

  • Sneak’s Noise Plans New Breakup

    Sneak's Noise Playing in Secaucus, NJ

    Weehawken, NJ  North Jersey rockers Sneak’s Noise announced today that they plan to re-disband by the end of March. A spokesman for the group confirmed that the band members had been considering a series of comeback appearances, until it was discovered that a modest combination of focus and effort would be required on their part. Talks to reconsider the renewed dissolution remain stalled; however, all members will get to keep whatever health benefits they had under the old arrangement.

  • Founding Members Send Occasional “We Should Play Again” Texts

    PARAMUS, NJ  Ralph Carey and Mike Matera are at it again. Not playing music together, mind you. But they are talking about it. Or, at least, occasionally (and sometimes drunk) texting each other on the topic of reuniting the band.

    ladies-texting

    “Some of these texts are exchanged well past midnight”, observes Matera, who purchased a new drum set last year but has only played it twice – both times in Carey’s living room, whilst parts of it were muffled by towels. “It’s almost as though we might seriously think about really considering talking about how we should play another gig.”

    Adds Carey, “We should definitely play again. I have lots of fun stuff we can work on. Plus, we often get free (or heavily discounted) drinks when we perform.”

    Despite neither of them making tangible efforts toward causing anything they’ve discussed to actually happen, both appear to be talking a good game.

    Or texting it, anyway.

  • Sneak’s Noise Gives Up, Blames End of World

    Mayan Calendar

    STONYBROOK, NY  Citing the now widely-circulated Mayan prediction of the world’s end tomorrow, erstwhile North Jersey rockers Sneak’s Noise have announced plans to give up.

    “What’s the point?”, queries frontman Ralph Carey. “If the Earth is completely destroyed, it will be a lot tougher to get gigs, especially paying ones.”

    Added bassist Gus Tobar, “What the f&*k?!!”

    Despite the apocalypse, vinyl copies of the band’s EP, A Surge of Existence, remain available. Please see the Store page of the band’s Web site to order yours.

  • Sneak’s Noise Has No News To Report

    RALEIGH, NC – In what may be the most telling news of all, New York metro area defunct rockers Sneak’s Noise announce that there is no band news to report. That may well be because there is no band. Or is there? Stay tuned…