NORTH BERGEN, NJ – Narrowly averting a statute of limitations, a North Bergen man has filed a noise lawsuit against his erstwhile neighbors – New Jersey rockers Sneak’s Noise – despite the fact that the band hasn’t rehearsed next to his house since 1992.

“This has nothing to do with the fact that I haven’t had an income in 14 months”, notes the band’s former neighbor, Jacob Alvarez. “Those guys played at full volume, two to three nights a week, for five years. My attorney says my ears are still ringing.”

Amplifying Alvarez’s case is the allegation that Gunther “Beatle” Brown, owner of a Union City nightspot where Sneak’s Noise once regularly played, often had his fiancee inform the band members that they were “too loud”. A string of character witnesses and band members has been summoned to a hearing, which will determine whether Alvarez’s case is sound enough to go to trial.